


Not Enough

by myscribblings



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-23 01:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14321439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myscribblings/pseuds/myscribblings
Summary: Vaylin fights to the end, astonished that she is mortally wounded by the smuggler Didav.





	1. The Empress At Bay

Vaylin was too hurt to fight. Her only remaining defense was the power that was pouring from her, and it was not enough. The Outlander, Didav, was somehow resisting, pushing towards her step by step. Power enough to fell her mother and brother, to crack the walls of the Alliance base, and this smuggler was still on his feet.

She was going to die.

She could not surrender. Not to her family, not to her father. She did not want to die, but better oblivion than putting herself at his mercy. He had none.

The Outlander had reached her. She was gasping with pain and effort and fear, trying one last time to push him back. He strained, brought up his blaster, and fired.

The pain was blinding. She screamed. At least it would be brief, and perhaps she could finally rest. She looked into the skies of Odessan. They were beautiful. She had never been able to see the beauty of the world around her. For a moment, she was content.

She felt the pull, then. She felt the touch of Valkorion’s power, dragging her strength from her dying body, felt her spirit slipping under his control. She heard him, whispering to her, telling her to let go, that she was dying but he could save her spirit. That, otherwise, everything she was would be obliterated. That he was trying to help her, as he always had.

She imagined his smiling face, looking at her with false benevolence..

No. No more.

Her right hand came up reflexively, covering the injury. Her armor, her very flesh, were still hot to the touch. She raised her left hand and pulled at the air. The energy flowing into the Outlander reversed itself as she reclaimed her power, her spirit, and then the link snapped. If she must die, it would not benefit her tormentor. He would not win.

“Not enough, Father.” She made another gesture, and before the Outlander could recover himself, he went flying back and landed with her family. He was dazed from the impact.

Vaylin had never learned to use her powers to heal. She had been too confident in her ability to protect herself, and never really cared about anyone else enough to bother. She remembered Asylum, and the odd sensation she felt after Arcann had struck down the Outlander. How fast a learner was she?

Her mother was walking forward again, lightsaber in hand. “Please, Vaylin, surrender. We can still help you.”

Vaylin staggered back, away from Senya, and gasped out, talking through the pain. “I hated you before, and now you stand with HIM. I would rather you finished me now, Mother.”

Arcann was now at Senya’s side, though he had left his lightsaber on his belt. “We will if we have to, Sister. And he is not Father.”

She almost laughed, but it hurt too much. “Even you can’t be that stupid, Brother. He’s taking Father’s power, his advice. That always has a price. He is a puppet, and I die either way.” She tried to take another step backward, but there was no more ledge. Nowhere left to go.

“Please, Daughter…”

“But if I die on my own terms, at least he won’t be able to use me again.”

She took that last step. She heard her mother scream her name. Senya actually sounded like she cared.

Senya and Arcann stood at the edge, looking down. “Why did she do that? We could have helped her. She didn’t have to die.”

“It is as you said, she was broken. She probably felt it was her only choice. I am sorry, Mother.”

Didav stayed far back, leaving them to their grief. He was about to give orders to retrieve the fallen Empress’ body when Arcann looked over at him. He thought back to Asylum. He decided instead to lead the team himself to verify if she was even truly dead.

In the Outlander’s mind, the Emperor brooded. So close, and now the chance was spent.


	2. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the three days after the fall of Empress Vaylin, the Alliance forces attempt to pick up the pieces.

All she felt was pain. It was everything now, and she clutched at the wound, trying to duplicate her father’s feat when he healed the Outlander. She’d felt it, back on Asylum, and now attempted to match that feeling. It made her sick to try to use his power, but she was desperate.

And it would have worked, but her time ran out. She could feel the pain easing, slightly, as the terrible injury began to heal. Then, renewed agony as her fall ended, and nothing more.

* * *

It had been three days since the second Battle of Odessan. Empress Vaylin’s body could not be found. It was possible that she had been taken by one of the large scavengers down in the wilds. No one had sensed her death, not even Lana or Sana-Rae, but the world that had hidden the Alliance may have masked even such a significant event. The wound had been lethal, of that everyone was certain. Between it and the fall, she must be dead.

The Fleet and Vaylin’s remaining Knights remained stationed over Odessan. The Gemini droids had no one authorized to give them commands, and the Knights were no longer driven to extremes by the Empress’ rage. However, they also did not surrender or retreat.

Arcann had left Odessan. The Alliance had rejected him, he had caused too much death in the years of his rule. He decided that rather than cause it to break apart, he would find other ways to atone for his crimes. Senya left with him. She had understood that her daughter needed to be stopped, no matter what, but staying would be too much for even her to bear. She also would not abandon her only remaining child while he tried to heal. The Fleet let them pass.

With no sign of the Empress, dead or otherwise, and no movement from the forces of the Eternal Empire, the Alliance finally had to act. A small force slipped by the Fleet unnoticed, travelling to Zakuul. If the Throne could be taken, the Fleet could be dispersed, and the few remaining Knights could be contained easily, hopefully with limited casualties.

The thing that called itself Valkorion brooded. He had been unable to claim his daughter’s full power for himself. Still, what he had been able to obtain before she had broken their link would be enough, he just needed to be exacting in its use. When they reached the Throne, he could enact his plans.

* * *

“Wake, my child.”

She heard his voice and started awake, glaring about, arms wreathed for a moment in lightning. Just a nightmare, she told herself. Let it be just a nightmare.

Where was she?

She was surrounded by small winged creatures. One of them had been licking her face, but had jumped back screeching when she woke. She did not know the name of the species. She was in their nest, somewhere in the mountains. She looked up to the sky, much the same one she had seen when she thought she was about to die. So, probably still Odessan.

Suddenly, the pain returned, and she fell back again, the energy around her dissipating. She rolled to her side and curled into a ball. She was in agony. She could see her injury through tears, through the tatters of her robes. She could feel similar burns on her back. The blaster had burned through armor that had protected her twice from heavy rifles and continued all the way through her body. Where had Didav gotten such a weapon?

She would have to ask him while he was being tortured to death.

She shut her eyes tightly, again focusing on healing herself. She knew it was going to leave a nasty scar. She could live with that.

Her nest-mates left her alone. She wondered if their mother would.

Mother. The memories returned to her. She remembered stepping off the ledge. She had wanted a choice in how she died, that much was true, but her first choice was not to. She had called out for something, anything, to save her from the fall, but then the pain became too much. Apparently, something had answered. She had survived, for now. She smiled, in spite of the pain.

Eventually, it began to ease again and, exhausted, she slept.


	3. Not Enough: Isolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Commander Didav begins the attack on Zakuul to take the Eternal Throne. Meanwhile, time passes in the wilderness of Odessan for the former Empress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Vaylin in the Wilderness](https://swtorramblings.tumblr.com/post/172944937280/isolation-art-by-fleeting-sanity-posted-for-link)

Didav was pensive. It was odd to see in the normally outgoing ship captain. He had accepted Vitiate’s power several times, though, most recently his power over Vaylin. He had been desperate. How could he protect anyone against Vitiate’s powerful children without help? He had made the excuse of winning the day and worrying about tomorrow later. Now he wondered how much of a mistake that was, what the cost would be.

It was no time for regrets. The Eternal Fleet had to be brought under Alliance control. Once again, he was out of options.

* * *

When Vaylin finally woke again, it was night. She looked up. Her nest-mates’ mother had returned. She was large enough to cover the entire nest, keeping her children safe and warm.

Keeping Vaylin warm, protecting her from the night.

She was still weak, the injury still painful. She looked down and saw that she’d been right, the injury would leave a scar. She reached behind her, though it hurt to do so, and felt the area on her back where it had burned through her, and the skin was rough and hurt to touch.

If she was going to continue healing, she would need food and water. She considered killing the large animal that had saved her for its meat, but she did not have the strength, she told herself. She would have to gather for now. Luckily, there was a small creek nearby, and an abundance of plant life. She slept in the warm nest, and at first light she foraged as best she could. Her senses told her which she could eat and which were deadly. She brought food and water back to the nest, and the mother and her young remained tolerant of her.

While she ate, she checked her belt. Her lightsaber, the one her father had given her years ago, was damaged in the battle, and she did not have the skills needed to repair it. The crystal was cracked, anyway, though it still glowed dimly. She carried a number of compact tools on her belt, survival gear she had from her days as High Justice, for when she needed to act on her own. A spark generator to light fires, a small knife, water filter, and so on. She was glad now she had kept them.

Once she had her fill, she rested for a time, then meditated, focusing on continuing her healing. No one disturbed her, and eventually, she slept again.

The next day was about the same, but she woke in the middle of the night to the sound of screeching animals and distant explosions. There was no sun, but the sky was bright. The young were clustered nearby, their mother once again standing over them protectively. She looked out from under a wing, and saw the Fleet had dropped down into the atmosphere. She could not count their number, but it was surely in the hundreds. They were blasting the Alliance base mercilessly, continuously, along with at least ten kilometers of land around it. Soon, she sensed, nothing was left.

She knew. Her father had retaken the Eternal Throne.

* * *

She went through her daily routine. Mark the day, thirty five. Check the area for predators, and make herself known to them if they were getting too close. Gather the day’s food and water. It was cold today, so she started a small fire. Check on her former nestmates, practice her healing on them if needed, make sure they were taken care of.

It was just practice. And they might still be useful to her. Yes.

They had grown very quickly, and it was no longer comfortable for Vaylin in the nest. She had made a small shelter for herself nearby, not wanting to leave them or their mother completely. She watched them while she ate, playing in their home, waiting for their mother to return.

The destruction of the Alliance had left her alone. Not that this was a terrible fate. Everyone she should have been close to had hurt her. Tortured her. Abandoned her. Betrayed her. Died. It was better to be alone.

One of the the young avian creatures came and nuzzled her with his beak, and she patted its head. Maybe not entirely alone. She kept the fire going until dark, when the mother returned. Maybe she should give her savior a name.

Another peaceful night. It did not really suit her, but if she had to live here forever, again, there were worse fates. She knew that very well. She stared through the flames and suddenly knew, with some sadness, her peace wasn’t going to last.


	4. Desperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arcann searches for his sister after disaster has struck the galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Arcann Searching](https://swtorramblings.tumblr.com/post/172945404535/desperation-art-by-fleeting-sanity-posted-for)

His small shuttle plummeted downward. Part of him contemplated this doomed mission. He knew it was foolish. It had been over a month, and there was no reason to believe she had survived her injuries. If she had, by some miracle, there was no reason to believe she had changed. He might be unleashing even more devastation on the galaxy.

He was desperate. The Alliance had fallen. The few remaining had been taken to fuel the Emperor’s power. He had escaped by only a narrow margin, and only because Senya had saved him.

Again.

He shook off the memory and the pain. He had to set the ship down. He had been able to level it off, but it crashed through the trees, crumpling the hull, shattering the windows. Eventually, it screeched to a stop. He took several deep breaths, then went to the back and stepped off the wrecked shuttle into the Odessan wilderness.

He could not win on his own. He had no resources to call on, no allies in all the galaxy. They rightly hated him, or feared his father.

He needed Vaylin. He needed his sister.

Looking up to the platform, high above, he thought back to that final battle. Thought of when he realized she wouldn’t stop. Perhaps, once unleashed, she couldn’t stop. She would rather die than be taken prisoner. Now, he wondered if she had been right.

Didav had told her she couldn’t be saved. He may as well have called her an animal. They were not Valkorion’s words, but he would approve.

He stretched out with his feelings, allowing the Force to guide him, and set off to find her.

After several hours, he saw the smoke and turned towards it, finally coming upon a small camp. He looked about warily, but there was nothing threatening here. There were several small shapes on a large, flat stone. He approached and picked one of them up.

It was a wood carving of an avian creature, shaped with a small knife.

“Brother! I know you are there! Join me by the fire!”

She was alive! His baby sister was alive! He had found her!

He could feel her rage.

He set the carving down and approached. When he finally found her, he smiled and said, “Ah. Not dead, then?”

She looked back and grinned, but did not stand. “Not for your lack of trying.”

He saw her eyes, heard her tone. His heart sank. Even in the presence of hatred that he felt should be scalding his flesh, he had dared for a moment to hope. He knew he had no right to.

“Sister. It is good to see you well.”

She turned away from him. He saw why she hadn’t risen. A large, but clearly immature, creature had its head in her lap. It was the same as the carving he had found. She was patting its beak absently.

“Oh, there’s no need to lie. I can feel your fear. There’s really no need for it.”

“What do you mean?”

She grinned at him again. “What, you don’t believe that I just don’t want to hurt you? That’s probably wise.” She looked back to the creature, rubbing its face vigorously. It cooed at her. “No, I might, but I can’t. I never learned to heal properly. I did what I could, and because I am me it was enough, but the only thing stopping me from terrible pain and a swift death is my power. I’m still a terror to the local wildlife, but if I struck at you, neither of us would leave this clearing. And it’s still tempting.”

“I am sorry, Sister.”

“Stop. Why are you here? I already know, and now you know why it’s pointless, but I want you to say it.”

He sighed. “I came to ask for your help against Father.”

“Of course you did. All right, let’s play a little game. Answer well, and I may go with you. You know why I hate Father. You’d have to be an idiot not to, which you are, but not that much of one. You must know why I hate Mother, I’m still surprised you don’t. Do you know why I hate you?”

“Because of Thexan. I’m so…”

“Ha! No, I don’t blame you for Thexan. Father charged you with rage like we might charge a droid. I hated that you were so weak, and I will always miss him, but I can’t blame you for being what Father made you. Not anymore. No, try again.”

He was surprised she was so forgiving. He knew he couldn’t forgive himself. “For siding with Mother? Can’t you understand that?”

She scowled. “No. Being alone here gave me time to think. I know you just didn’t want either of us to be hurt. That doesn’t mean I won’t kill her if I get the chance. But, no, that’s not it.”

He had to hold back his regret, his pity. He knew she would not appreciate it. “For not saving you?”

That seemed to break through for a moment. She looked up sadly, but then the rage returned. “No, you great idiot. I said you were weak. You couldn’t have saved me. Not from my cage, not from my rage. I can’t blame you for that, either.”

He was at a loss. “Then, why?”

She seemed disappointed. Not that he hadn’t answered, but that her game was coming to an end. “Because you were right. Father made us both weapons. But you were the one that used me as one, not him. And now, you’ve come into this place, where I finally found peace, what you should have wanted for me, only to use me again. Why wouldn’t I hate you?”

He was struck by that. He knew he had added to her pain, to her madness. He had never really considered how close he had been to his father. At the time, it was all he wanted, to prove himself Valkorion’s equal, and then to surpass him. To prove himself worthy. 

To his shame, he had been.

“I am sorry, Sister.”

She finally stood, disturbing the chick. She actually cooed back at the creature, calming it. She then gave a sharp whistle. She did not turn to face him, she just bent down and gathered some things from the ground near the fire.

“It doesn’t matter. We should get ready to go.”

He blinked at her. “Go where?”

“The Alliance base. I’m sure we can find something to get us off of this planet.”

“How would we reach it? My ship was destroyed getting here.”

She turned and grinned at him again. Was the look slightly less predatory? “I have a way, and you worry too much. Which will make it much more fun.”

“But I did not answer your question.”

“I never said you had to answer it correctly, just well, and you answered well enough.”

“So you are coming with me?”

“Of course. I have no choice.”


	5. Night Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vaylin travels with Arcann to the Alliance base by unusual means. She is trying to enjoy herself, he’s just trying to stay with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Night Flight](https://swtorramblings.tumblr.com/post/172945649515/night-flight-art-by-fleeting-sanity-posted-for)

The wind blew her hood back, leaving her hair to trail behind her. It felt glorious. She looked down, and could not help but laugh. Not the sound of a spirit breaking, not the mad cackle of the monster she had been, but the sound of real joy. She was going to miss this, the sheer freedom she had here. No one expected anything from her, good or ill. She was whoever she chose to be.

She would miss that choice. She would miss who she had been able to be.

She looked behind her. Her hair had blown into her brother’s face. His expression almost made the whole thing worth it, as he looked at the ground, so far below. She smiled. “Scared, Brother?”

He glanced up, frowning at her. “I admit I prefer flying machines. But I trust you know what you’re doing.”

Her smile broadened. “No you don’t. But I do.”

“How are you controlling it? I thought you couldn’t…”

“Control what? Scyva?

“Is that what you call it?”

Vaylin reached down and patted the creature’s side affectionately. “Her. And I’m not! That’s why this is so glorious! I asked her to take us, and she did!”

“What?”

She watched as he looked down even more nervously. She loved watching him squirm. “I’ve always loved a bit of chaos! Didn’t you know?”

“Not always, Vaylin.”

Why did he do that? The memories were not welcome, but she knew what he was saying. She heard again the GEMINI droids crying out, pleading, trying to find their mother, asking shy she had abandoned them. She remembered their pain, hearing it even through the machine that relayed their words. The machine that ultimately took it from them, along with their wills. She had wanted to end that pain, she couldn’t stand it.

What she said was, “SCORPIO betrayed me. What did you expect?”

If Arcann sensed she was holding back, he gave no sign. “Nothing more.”

He was slowly ruining her fun. She thought she should ruin his, what? Whatever it was he was feeling. Hope, maybe? She flashed him that vicious grin. “You and Mother, always hoping for more from me, and still wrong.”

“Yes, Sister.” Still no sign of pain. He was infuriating. She liked him better before.

She remembered her own words. As their father had made him.

Now she was spoiling her own fun.

She glanced back. He was looking nervously between her friend and the ground. That made her feel like smiling again.

“What is it?” he was saying.

“Nothing. Just enjoying your discomfort.”

“Ah. How long will it be?”

“I don’t know. She knows where we’re going, how long before she sets us down is up to her.”

“Can you ask her to…” That ended in an uncharacteristic yelp as Scyva dove into the treeline. He gripped her feathers, holding on tightly. Vaylin just squeezed her knees together and laughed again, arms over her head. She had never done this before. It just felt right.

She would miss Scyva most of all. The warm nest, watching as she fed her young. Her acceptance.

Scyva rose back into the sky, her prey clutched in her claws.

Arcann looked like he might be sick. “Over the side, Brother! Don’t dirty her feathers!”

“I’m fine. Did she have to do that now, though?”

“She’s taking care of her young, like any mother should! She can’t waste the trip!”

He looked hurt, about what she didn’t know, and just stared at her, looking for something in her face. It seemed that he didn’t find it, and looked back to the ground. “I can see it. The Alliance base.”

It was the last fun, the last freedom, she would have for a long time. Possibly the last for the rest of her life. She could see it. It almost made her weep. It would have if she was willing to show that to her brother.

Scyva suddenly changed course, taking them on a long, slow circle around the base. Vayling leaned down and patted her on the side again. The great creature cooed much like her young had.

“I’m sure she’ll land, sooner or later. Don’t worry.” But she was delighted when he did.


	6. Hope’s End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arcann and Vaylin have landed at the former Alliance base, seeking a way to escape Odessan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Hope's End](https://swtorramblings.tumblr.com/post/172945761385/hopes-end-art-by-fleeting-sanity-posted-for)
> 
> Note that Vaylin does not actually have a working lightsaber in the story, the art was requested before that plot point was written in.

Scyva finally landed, Arcann jumping down. He could swear she was laughing at him. After the long flight, he was shaky on his feet. He reached out, and she allowed him to touch her beak. He chuckled and turned away as Vaylin landed behind him. He stood nearby as his sister said her goodbyes.

He could feel something other than rage from her now, a kind of melancholy, increasing as he heard the beast fly off. It was heartbreaking. The she walked over and stood beside him, and there was nothing but her hate, which was even worse.“So, Brother, here we are again. Welcome back.”

He looked about the platform. He was surprised anything had survived the attack. “I was never welcome here.”

“Cheer up, the dead are very welcoming.” At the look he gave her, she continued, “Oh, stop. Did you expect me to weep for these people?”

“Maybe not, but could you have a little respect?”

“Not really.” She walked over and pulled down a damaged banner. She held it up in front of him. “What do you see here, Arcann?”

He looked down at it, sadly. “The end of hope.”

She smirked at him, then looked at it thoughtfully, eventually saying, “Of course you do. For me, this tattered rag means freedom. My end was supposed to be here, the only freedom I would ever know.”

“Death is not freedom, Sister.”

Her head snapped up and she glared, her teeth clenched. She ground out, “Neither was life, and it was full of pain. At least that would have ended.” She relaxed, slightly, and continued. “I had seen it for years. This place. That end.”

“You saw this? Why didn’t you stop it?”

He thought she would laugh, but she stopped herself. “Stop it? I longed for it. And then he tried to take even that from me, make me fight for him again. Nothing was ever enough for him. I would not have it.”

That’s what she had meant when she said she never wanted to be saved. He had thought she was saying she didn’t want to change, to heal as he hoped he had. She had been saying she didn’t want to live.

She was speaking to him. “Oh, what is that look? Do you finally understand me, Brother?”

He found it difficult to speak for a few moments. “Perhaps.”

“Good. I hope it causes you some pain.” She went back to examining the banner. “I outlived my fate. I outlived the Alliance. That’s what it means to me.”  
With that, she let it fall from her fingers. “We should find ourselves a ship.”

He looked at it for a moment, then looked at her. She tilted her head, waiting for him to make a decision. He did not know how he felt about that. “Yes, hopefully something a bit sturdier than my last one. Ships from the Fleet are guarding this world.”

She suddenly looked wary. “One problem at a time, I think.”

He turned and saw three Skytroopers step out from the base. In a fluid motion, he drew his lightsaber and hurled it. The arc cut each of them down, and the weapon returned to his hand. A full dozen more emerged. He wished he’d had time to rest recently. He stepped forward, shouting, “Behind me, Sister!”

She just looked at him with disgust. “Please.” She raised her hand, and lightning played across the Skytroopers, turning them quickly to slag.

He looked down at them. He supposed he should have known better. He doused his weapon and replaced it on his belt. “I thought you needed your power to stay alive?”

She was looking at her handiwork with a slight smile. It took her a few moments to answer. “What? Oh, I see. You underestimate yourself. I don’t.”

“What does that mean?”

“Do you really have no idea of how powerful you are? Sometimes I wonder if Mother’s little ritual dulled your self awareness. These are nothing. Fifty of them might be a challenge, because I am so weak. Twelve? No. But, you? Yes, killing you would finish me. You might even live through the attempt.”

Weak. She actually called that weak. Still, she really had changed. There was a time she would not have admitted to any weakness, would rather die than do so. The pain and hatred were there, and he doubted she cared about much of anything but herself, but she had changed.

He thought of Scyva and her chicks. Vaylin would be enraged by it, but he suddenly felt he had some reason to hope. It was enough for now.


End file.
